Thursday, December 20, 2007

The Dating Game

The dating scene is tough enough for most of us. Add to that a diagnosis of MS (or any chronic illness for that matter) and it can be a little more than discouraging.

About 5 years ago, I began online dating. Honestly, I had a blast. I met some incredible jerks and some really great guys and I had some of the funniest dating stories to share with friends. It was never an issue for me to tell my dates that I had MS, most of them, anyway. It does not define me, but where I am so involved in fundraising for the MS Society and making public appearances for the cause, it is extremely important to me.

On your online profile you are supposed to indicate hair and eye colour, body type or size, likes, dislikes, etc. If you are on a disabled online dating site, you may be asked to disclose your disability.

But what if your disability or condition isn't quite so obvious? Like with MS. Many of us are not disabled and I couldn't in good conscience join one of those sites. So do you say on your profile that you have MS? Or is that akin to saying you have three heads? If I read a guy's profile and it said he had kids under the age of 18, I immediately crossed him off the list (I was not interested in dating someone with kids that young). Should I hold it against someone who would immediately cross me off his list after having read I have MS?

I did not indicate on my profile that I have MS. But it would be brought up in either online conversation or on our first meeting. Nobody ran away screaming, but a few guys were put off right away. Such is life. Some guys confused MS with MD. Some guys appeared not to be concerned about it, and that bothered me. Of all the guys I dated only one has become an actual friend. And one has become more than a friend

John clicked with me from almost the very beginning. He had a friend with MS and his mom was a neuro nurse. He has since become the love of my life. And he gives me a shot in my backside every week. (That reminds me...I'll have to write a post soon about the medication I take for the MS)

I guess the reason for writing this is to show that you can have a social life with MS. Choosing to have a social life may be the hardest part.


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