Carnival of MS Bloggers

Extra ! Extra! Read all about it at the Carnival of MS Bloggers!! Yours truly is included in the posts by and about MSers....

S.

Itsy Bitsy Spider

Recently I was chatting with a friend about depression. He told me that he was concerned about some of his behaviours and wasn't sure how to go about changing them. Let's pretend that this guy is afraid of spiders; he avoids them whenever possible, he panics if he can't get away, and he won't tell his family why he doesn't like to go to the park with the kids or to the woods to camp. It is said that the first step to recovery is admitting that there is a problem. So this guy has admitted that he has a problem that is interfering with his every day life. The next step is to determine if it's a real problem. Well, if he lived in a part of the world that had no spiders and there was no chance of him encountering one, then there's really no problem. But, he lives in a part of the world that has spiders so his problem is very real.

The next step is to determine if this guy's motivated to overcome his fear. He says he hates the anxiety he feels around spiders and he wants to take the kids to the park. Appearances indicate he's motivated.

The next step is action. This friend went to a doctor years ago to see if his fear could be helped with medication (he had heard that anti-anxiety meds might help) but at the time the side effects were more than he wanted to deal with and he didn't think his fear was interfering enough with his life to warrant medication. Now, however, his fear is starting to become more generalized, and it's not just spiders that cause anxiety, but any creepy crawly. My friend is now going to consult once again with a doctor about meds and cognitive behavioural therapy. In combination, it is thought those two treatments can be the most successful.

Anxiety disorders are closely tied to depression. I've heard it said that depression is fear turned inward. Anxiety is simply fear in a specific and sometimes not so specific situation. When we are afraid of and for ourselves, that anxiety is manifested as depression.

So how do you climb out of that well of depression or stop being afraid? Once a medical reason for the fear is eliminated, you can begin thinking different thoughts. I believe that if you approach your fear or depression in a logical, systematic way, you have a much better chance of overcoming it.

Want an even better chance at overcoming depression? Read a book by David Burns. It's called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. It was first published almost 30 years ago and every time I see a copy of it at a flea market or yard sale I buy it because I give it to people who talk to me about the subject. And this guy has a website. Check it out for yourself. I've never met the man and have no financial ties to him, but from my own experience, I can recommend the book.

I've also given the recommendation to my friend so with any luck he'll be outside playing with spiders in no time.

S.

Picture from www.wikipedia.org
I love Wiki.

Move It On Over

Time for a little audience participation methinks. The topic is music. Specifically, what gets you going?

I comment from time to time to the boyfriend of different songs I'd put on a make-out tape(which instantly defines my age). But since my folks occassionally read this blog I'm going to ask for music that inspires you to move. Which is different from music that moves you. Beethoven moves me, blues makes me want to bake for some reason, 1970s Supertramp makes me feel sexy, but it is electronica and disco that makes me want to move. Get up and boogie, so to speak. Although Supertramp's Cannonball makes me want to exercise.

So, what gets you moving?

S.

This is My Brain on Drugs

This is my brain. Okay, it's an eraser in the shape of a brain. But it's mine.
And this is my brain on drugs....

I was speaking with someone the other day who first met me when I was MCing the local ALS Walk. ALS is easily one of the most cruel illnesses, and I happily lend my skills to fundraising for this cause. My friend and I were comparing ALS and MS. In the majority of cases ALS is a death sentence within a few years whereas MS is rarely fatal. ALS is continuously and quickly progressive from Day 1 whereas MS is much slower. MS is uncertain, a characteristic about which we MSers like to complain. We don't know what each day will bring. You know what? I realized that this characteristic is something I should celebrate. I may not know what's going to happen, but it just might be great. And I know I have many tomorrows left.

We humans like to be in control. Diseases like ALS and MS can quickly remove that control but we still try to assert some control. I do that by taking Avonex once a week. In my butt. The boyfriend sticks me with that needle after I take some Tylenol to battle the side effects. 4 hours later, around bedtime, I take more Tylenol, the 8 hour stuff, so I can sleep through the night. Usually the next morning, another dose and I'm set for another week.

I've been on the stuff for 8 years now and so far so good. I've had one minor relapse. Is it all because of the Avonex? No idea. I'm sure it has something to do with it, but as one of my neuros is quick to tell me, attitude is pretty important, too.

So as much as I, like the rest of humanity, don't like change, I will celebrate my ever changing disease and do what I can do to make a difference.

S.

Lemons

My mom told me a story the other night about the summer I played little league baseball. I don't recall the event but it didn't surprise me.

My folks had instilled in my brother and I a "make lemonade from lemons attitude". This alone probably accounts for what I thought was an inherent trait, but now realize was learned (chalk one up for the nurture side).

The coach of my team wasn't terribly thrilled at having me on the team to begin with and I suspect he was maybe trying to hide the fact there was a girl on his team when he told me I should wear my (very) long hair up under my cap instead of the long pigtails I wore it in. I said I wasn't going to do that. Then I told him that life has given him lemons so he's just going to have to make lemonade.

To be honest, I don't recall a negative experience that summer. The coach never deliberately kept me on the bench, I played the same amount as the rest of the team. I do remember the coach's son, who was on the team, telling his dad he'd have to find a place to put on (or in, I don't know how these things work) his cup. His dad said. "Just do it" and the kid looked at me and put out his arms and said, "But Dad..." and his dad said, "just do it". I politely turned around so I couldn't observe whatever it is you guys do. I do remember laughing about it afterwards though. And it still brings a smile to my face as I type these words.

S.

Foul!

A coworker, Shannon, told me a story today about her 7 year old son who plays hockey. He (Chris) was telling his mom about a teammate, Jason, who really wasn't a very good player. He was okay in practise, but not at the games. He was kind of a quiet kid and a little bit shy. Shannon felt that the child was probably nervous and a little intimidated during games and that might contribute to his poorer performance. So she told her son that he should encourage his friend when they were at hockey. Tell him when he was doing good job, help to build his confidence.

During a game soon after, Jason managed to score a goal. Shannon said he skated better after the goal and in the locker room after the game, her son praised Jason about his playing. "That goal was awesome! You're playing much better!"

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that. How sweet that a 7 year old heard what his mom told him and used the advice. And how good must Jason have felt? Probably like a million bucks. He scored a goal and was then acknowledged for it.

When I was 11, I played little league baseball. I was the only girl on the team and one of two in the entire league. My coach (who at first wasn't too keen on having a girl on his team) and my folks encouraged me to do my best and have fun. To make matters worse, I wasn't a good player, though I could run like a bat out of hell. But I tried. I usually struck out, a few times I walked, and I never hit the ball to the field. Or the infield even. The only time I hit the ball all season, it was foul. But the crowd (okay, parents and siblings) roared. My coach was yelling at me "OK, you got a piece of it! Do it again! Do it again!" Man, I was pumped. And then I struck out. But that feeling of momentary glory has stayed with me for more than 30 years. I don't know if I played any better or tried any harder after that, but for one moment in time, I had the same feeling that World Series Champions must have. Or Les Nessman from WKRP in Cincinatti in the episode where he caught the game-determining fly ball. *sigh*

I hope Jason had the same feeling and is able to recall it 30 years from now with the same fondness.

Who have you encouraged today?

S.

Picture is from Warner Brother's Looney Tunes Cartoons. Egghead Jr. playing ball with foghorn Leghorn.

MS Movie Night

Each year for the past dozen or so years the Atlantic Division of the MS Society hosts a fundraising Movie Night at Empire Theatres Bayer's Lake. In the past 9 years I've hosted most of them. (I had to skip one year because of what turned out to be a kidney stone, though at the time I thought it was MS related)

This year the event is being held the first week of February and yours truly will be there again. So I just wrote up my little spiel and am posting it here. The drugs and stem cell transplant that I mention are from a news report broadcast last night on the CBC. I will put in the link to CBC - you'll have to search for the video report as I can't link directly to it.

The little girl I mention is written up in the latest MSIF mailer and I will link to them.


Recent reports indicate positive results on new drugs and procedures to treat MS. One of these procedures is a stem cell transplant. Doctors take stem cells from bone marrow and save it. Then the patient undergoes vigorous chemotherapy to destroy their current immune system. Kind of like crashing a computer. Then they implant the stem cells and watch the immune system rebuild. In effect they reboot the computer.

Sounds simple. Only 18 people have undergone this procedure in the country. Most are doing well with no relapses since their transplants. One person died. How desperate must you be, to be willing to sign a consent form that tells you the risk of death from a procedure is very real?

Drugs are VERY expensive. This little package, one dose of my medication taken once a week, is approximately $500. Lucky for me, the provincial government is covering me on that one. Until last year, Newfoundland did not cover its MS patients unless they were on social assistance. People were forgoing treatment that could help them because they couldn't afford 20-26 thousand dollars a year for meds. People were divorcing and living separately from spouses so one could qualify for assistance and get the drugs.

There are children as young as 2 being diagnosed with MS. A little girl in Ontario, Caitlin, was diagnosed at 8, and is currently campaigning for the MS Society. She says she tells her story because she hopes it will make people donate for research to find a cure and that no other kids or adults will have to live their whole lives with MS.

Sounds like a plan to me.